It was midnight. Fr Jose George could not sleep because there was no fan in his room. Jose knocked on Anna Jacob\u2019s door. When she opened it, he told her he could not sleep. She invited him inside, because there was a fan. Jose had met Anna while conducting a retreat at Kottayam. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you come home, have dinner, and stay the night?\u201d Anna said. She lived with her mother-in-law, while her husband worked in Dubai. Jose accepted the offer. When Jose entered the bedroom, Anna\u2019s mother-in-law noticed. \u201cShe prayed till morning,\u201d says Fr K P Shibu Kalamparambil. \u201cShe cannot speak about this incident to her son, because that will destroy the marriage. Then society will ask questions about why it happened. That would affect the family\u2019s social standing.\u201d So she kept quiet. But the secret came out when she told Shibu at the confessional. (Every Sunday, Catholics can confess their sins to the priest before Mass. They communicate through a grid or lattice).<\/p>\n
\nThe advantage priests have is that when they go to the house of a woman, society does not look askance, according to Shibu. \u201cHe has the social sanction. And priests take advantage of that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shibu was a priest with the Vincentian order till March this year. Like Sr Jesme,\u00a0 he quit the priesthood and has written a 160-page book, Here is the Heart of a Priest, in which he talks about his experiences during his 24 years in the congregation. The most stunning revelations are the incidents of sexual misconduct.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf a woman has financial problems and is desperate, she will approach the priest,\u201d says Shibu. \u201cHe will help her, but ask for sex in exchange. She gives in because she has no option.\u201d Similarly, priests take advantage of widows, troubled women, and nuns.<\/p>\n
\u201cMost nuns are sexually frustrated,\u201d says Shibu. \u201cTo lead a celibate life is unnatural.\u201d Initially, they try to leave. But the older nuns persuade them that it\u2019s not necessary, because things will get better in the future. \u201cSince the elder nuns are trapped, they want to ensure that others also remain like them,\u201d says Shibu. \u201cNobody is allowed to escape.\u201d<\/p>\n
So the young nuns look for safe ways to have sex. \u201cIt is either through priests, servants, drivers, or the milkman,\u201d says Shibu. \u201cThere are cases of nuns caught red-handed, but the matter is quickly hushed up. And the nun is transferred immediately.\u201d<\/p>\n
In the priestly life, sexual misconduct starts early. \u201cSexual abuse is rampant in the seminaries,\u201d says Shibu. Since it is a dormitory system, it is easy for a boy to manipulate or exploit another boy for sex. \u201cThey have no other forms of entertainment, like watching films,\u201d he says. \u201cNeither do they have any contact with the opposite sex.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shibu, who was a prefect in a seminary, has caught students in the act many times. \u201cThey are immediately sent away,\u201d he says. \u201cSometimes, a few boys escape being caught and carry on their activities long after they have become priests.\u201d<\/p>\n
Apart from sex, money is a big attraction. \u201cNobody knows how much donation a priest receives in the name of helping the poor,\u201d says Shibu. \u201cThe priest also gets cash gifts from parishioners after he blesses a new car or a home. The money can range from Rs 500 to Rs 1 lakh.\u201d<\/p>\n
He remembers the case of a businessman who gave Rs 1 lakh to a priest because he had conducted the baptism ceremony of his son. \u201cThe priest kept the money instead of giving it to the congregation,\u201d says Shibu. Usually, they buy electronic goods, a car, insurance policies, or invest in shares and real estate.<\/p>\n
\u201cPriests are so busy making money, that being a priest has become a secondary role,\u201d he says. \u201cBut I heard allegations that the same thing is happening among pujaris and\u00a0 maulvis. I feel disheartened.\u201d<\/p>\n
But there were other reasons why Fr Shibu decided to quit. He had an MA in Sociology from the University of Pune, MEd from the Mahatma Gandhi University, Kottayam, but was not given jobs commensurate with his qualifications. \u201cThe authorities wanted loyalists. They will not promote the meritorious, because they are afraid their positions could get shaky.\u201d<\/p>\n
So he had to face the humiliation of seeing juniors appointed principals, while he was given a job as a teacher.<\/p>\n
The priests in his congregation are aware of what is happening, but are afraid to speak out. \u201cI thought to myself, \u2018Why should I remain silent\u2019?\u201d he says.<\/p>\n
\u201cI joined the priesthood because I wanted to serve God and serve humanity. But I was unable to do so. If I wanted I could have made a lot of money and led a very comfortable life. But I know that these compromises will prick at my conscience. So I thought it was better to quit.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shibu also admits that there are blessings in the priestly life. \u201cThe vocation gives peace of mind, provided one is working in a spiritual environment,\u201d he says. \u201cThen a person is inspired to work for the betterment of society. Priests in many congregations lead dedicated lives, but there is a certain section, very large in number, which is spoiling the name of the priesthood.\u201d<\/p>\n
Asked whether celibacy should be abolished, he nods. \u201cIn order to serve God, there is no need to remain unmarried,\u201d he says. \u201cThe disciples of Jesus Christ, except John, were married. The first Pope was married and had three children. My suggestion is that the Pope and priests should marry. Celibacy forces priests to succumb to temptations.\u201d<\/p>\n
He said Christian sects like the Mar Thomites and Jacobites allow priests to marry. \u201cThey are respected by society,\u201d he says. \u201cSo why can\u2019t the Catholic church do the same thing?\u201d<\/p>\n
But this insistence on celibacy by the Catholic church could be based on economic considerations. \u201cIf there is a married priest, the church would need to give higher salaries and better accommodation,\u201d says Shibu. \u201cThe senior clergy will not have the money for the lush lifestyles they have now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Not surprisingly, there are those that do not agree with Shibu. Fr Paul Puthuva, one of the Provincial Superiors of the Vincentian Congregation, says, \u201cThe book is full of baseless allegations. Any person who leaves the congregation can level all sorts of unfounded charges. So we prefer not to respond to what Shibu has said or written.\u201d<\/p>\n
In person, Shibu comes across as straight-forward and intense, but under mental strain. A person close to him, but who does not wish to be identified, says he is under a lot of pressure from the Vincentians and also his own family, who are devout Catholics. They are displeased with him for writing the book and talking to the media. So, Shibu left.<\/p>\n
He now works as a teacher of social science in an Indian school at Doha, Qatar. Shibu himself admits that the road ahead is tough. \u201cBut I have courage, determination, and the will to succeed,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n
His future plans include marriage and setting up a short-stay home for priests who want to leave the priesthood. \u201cInitially, when they leave, they are not accepted by family or society,\u201d says Shibu. \u201cThey go through a tough time. I will provide a room, with an attached bath, as well as a kitchen. A job will also be arranged.\u201d<\/p>\n
Asked whether Sr Jesme served as an inspiration, Shibu says, \u201cYes, her example was an impetus. What Jesme said is the truth, but it has not been accepted by the church. But there is one thing I can say with certainty: truth cannot be concealed forever. One day it will come out.\u201d (Some names have been changed to protect identities)<\/p>\n
Writer Shevlin Sebastian is a freelancer. <\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It was midnight. Fr Jose George could not sleep because there was no fan in his room. Jose knocked on Anna Jacob\u2019s door. When she opened it, he told her he could not sleep. She invited him inside, because there was a fan. Jose had met Anna while conducting a retreat at Kottayam. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you come home, have dinner, and stay the night?\u201d Anna said. She lived with her mother-in-law, while her husband worked in Dubai. Jose accepted the offer. When Jose entered the bedroom, Anna\u2019s mother-in-law noticed. \u201cShe prayed till morning,\u201d says Fr K P Shibu Kalamparambil. \u201cShe cannot speak about this incident to her son, because that will destroy the marriage. Then society will ask questions about why it happened. That would affect the family\u2019s social standing.\u201d So she kept quiet. But the secret came out when she told Shibu at the confessional. (Every Sunday, Catholics can confess their sins to the priest before Mass. They communicate through a grid or lattice).<\/p>\n